The maid of honor just puked.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
