They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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