Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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