I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
