Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
