Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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