they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
