If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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