u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
