Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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