Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Did I show you my penis last night?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
