you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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