it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
