He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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