I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
