You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
