He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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