Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
