she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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