you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
