Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
