Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Houston, we have a blender
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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