I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
