there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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