Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
