I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
