My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
