just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
