One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I understand Curling. That high.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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