dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
