Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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