Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its about making memories worth repressing
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
