i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A bitchslap is in order.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
