I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
