If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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