Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
