Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
