At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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