i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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