i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it hurts more in the daytime
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
