So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
