Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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