The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
