Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
