but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
