you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
