then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
