What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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