lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
