The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
